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Re: No they aren’t coping!

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That’s a tough one. In the case of my 94 year old mother in law, she always seemed to be coping well. Until she had a stroke and we saw the house as it looks when we’re not expected. She clearly hasn’t been coping for some long time. In your case, depending on what the docs say the next step might be a heart to heart about which areas your parents would be willing to consider getting help: we now employ a weekly cleaner and a gardener comes from AgeUK every fortnight, while I deal with the post. 

But I think there’s also a useful pointer for anyone whose elderly relatives ‘seem’ to be coping: perhaps to make the occasional unannounced visit and be on the lookout for some of the tell-tale signs of them neglecting things, or themselves…