Age Space Caregiver Forum

No they aren’t coping!

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I went to my parents the other day and realised the huge pile of post on the table was not just overflow from the recycling bin. They have always been really organised with their admin, but I found unopened bills and statements muddled up with endless catalogues for useful rubbish, begging letters from charities and junk from the local double glazing/cheap supermarket/green energy provider etc etc. Then I noticed the grass hadn’t been cut for weeks, the car (always immaculate) was filthy inside and out. Oh and dad didn’t get up from his chair when I arrived. I think we have a problem. But what exactly? GP appointment made… Damn. 


  • I went to my parents the other day and realised the huge pile of post on the table was not just overflow from the recycling bin. They have always been really organised with their admin, but I found unopened bills and statements muddled up with endless catalogues for useful rubbish, begging letters from charities and junk from the local double glazing/cheap supermarket/green energy provider etc etc. Then I noticed the grass hadn’t been cut for weeks, the car (always immaculate) was filthy inside and out. Oh and dad didn’t get up from his chair when I arrived. I think we have a problem. But what exactly? GP appointment made… Damn. 

    That’s a tough one. In the case of my 94 year old mother in law, she always seemed to be coping well. Until she had a stroke and we saw the house as it looks when we’re not expected. She clearly hasn’t been coping for some long time. In your case, depending on what the docs say the next step might be a heart to heart about which areas your parents would be willing to consider getting help: we now employ a weekly cleaner and a gardener comes from AgeUK every fortnight, while I deal with the post. 

    But I think there’s also a useful pointer for anyone whose elderly relatives ‘seem’ to be coping: perhaps to make the occasional unannounced visit and be on the lookout for some of the tell-tale signs of them neglecting things, or themselves…

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